More Reasons to Love Nature
The sun rays poured down the south facing garden, bathing the lawn, trees and plants in dazzling light. With my eyes closed, I felt the warmth. I inhaled the smell of freshly cut grass in spring. I heard the vocal magpies descend on the domineering fern tree. The odd light ray made its way through the gaps in the fern’s branches.
Whilst preventing growth underneath, I knew in the height of summer the fern will be welcome shade. In winter, adorned with decorative lights, it will bring further delight.
Within that exquisite setting laid complex interactions, like in our relationships. Nature does more than nourish our sense of wellbeing. Nature teaches us about our lives.
According to ecologists, symbiosis, the close relationship of two dissimilar organisms, comes in different forms. Commensal relationships allow one party to benefit and the other not to, but remain unharmed. Within parasitic relationships one party benefits and the other is harmed. It could be a matter of time in our lives where a once benign relationship turns toxic. We may have a classic case of a parasitic relationship in Covid-19.
Finally, mutual relationships allow both parties to benefit.
We may also draw on nature to make sense of people: S/he’s so catty! What a dog, donkey, magpie, snake! Many of these come with villainous connotations. On the flip side, we have the beavers, bears, deer, doves and studs.
This foray into ecology and nature of creatures evoked Adam Grant’s organisational research on givers, takers and matchers. Takers strive to get as much as possible from others. Givers are the rare breed who contribute to others without expecting anything in return. Matchers aim to trade evenly.
Matchers are likely to favour mutual relationships where both parties benefit in nature. They keep tallies. They give and expect something in return.
Within the other two natural scenarios, there is one organism giving and the other taking. However, what differentiates the two is the effect — harm or no harm — on one of the parties. The parasites, I’ll call ‘extreme takers’, suck others dry of energy, time, thinking capacity or material possessions. In contrast are those who give to the detriment of their own wellbeing and good.
Occasionally, we may find ourselves re-evaluating who we are, our friendships, relationships and working lives. We may have tried to figure out what animals our colleagues are most like (hopefully not a brood of vipers!). We may have wondered how many mutually beneficial relationships we have at work and in our personal lives. We may have assessed if we are givers, takers or matchers. We may have asked which is the best way to be.
According to Adam Grant, success at work is no longer determined by passion, hard work, talent, and luck but also how we interact with others. He found that the best and worst way to be is a giver. There are givers who get exploited and burnout. We probably don’t want to aim for that. Then there are ‘self-care’ givers who achieve extraordinary results across many industries. Perhaps these givers who care for others but look after themselves also triumph in other parts of their lives.
As I exited the garden, I recognised that the fern tree would continue to flourish in its natural home for many more decades. A lot like the ‘self-care’ giver, it had found the balance of meeting its own needs and helping other organisms thrive.
